Secret Weapon

At the height of the Intafada, the Israelis and Arabs realized that, if they continued, they would someday end up destroying the world. So they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with a dogfight. The negotiators agreed that each country would take five years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its country the right to rule the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms. The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy from each litter, killed all the other puppies and fed the lone dog all of the milk. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine, until, after the five years were up, they had a dog that needed iron prison bars on his cage. Only the trainers could handle this beast. When the day of the big fight arrived, the Israelis showed up with a strange animal: It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Israelis. No one else thought this weird animal stood a chance against the growling beast in the Arab camp. The bookies predicted the Arabs would win in less than a minute. The cages were opened. The Dachshund waddled toward the center of the ring. The Arab dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog. As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast in one bite. There was nothing left but a small bit of fur from the killer dog’s tail. The Arabs approached the Israelis, shaking their heads in disbelief. "We do not understand. Our top scientists and breeders worked for five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and Rottweilers. They developed a killing machine." "Really?" the Israelis replied. "We had our top plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund!"

Mars 10000 BC

by Adrian Borja

Steel framed structures, concrete and iron composite super highways, electric towers, the environment is a monochrome by shades of grey and blue. Organic material was only found in laboratories. The scene is close to being Earth-like in the modern age of about year 2020, but this is planet Mars 10,000 B.C. A cybernetic civilization has flourished along and under the great river along its equator. Underground laboratories virtually became the 2nd layer under Mars’ crust one so massive that it created a bulge on the planet’s surface that it reached thousands of kilometers into the atmosphere. This laboratories probably produced and contained the most mysterious of all living things if these really are living, the creatures of the nether plane. The technology is so advanced and mind-boggling yet many things are quite familiar, even the planet’s codes are made in alphabet.

One thing is different, this world is biologically lifeless as drones and bots rule here. Nanobots swarm the atmosphere to regulate the temperature as Mars’ atmosphere is considerably thin. Earth at this time is primitive, single celled organisms proved no threat to Mars. But even robots can create feelings of rebellion, feelings of hate and the urge to destroy and dominate.

And so it came to pass that a small band of elite robots who have had access to root systems of the entire planet accidentally triggered the decomposition of the planet itself. The nanobots scouting the atmosphere lost their control of the temperature and let the planet heat up and the river begins to boil. It became too hot for the metal clad inhabitants that most of them didn’t make it, they simply died, decayed, and started to rust. While others made it to other planets, far from the solar system itself, scattered. Nether creatures from the undergrounds unleashed and many of them found their way to Earth and caused enough mutations to disturb the natural creation of the living.

To this day, these nether creatures have become what we know as the demons that can affect us as they have inhabited earth for far too long already. And Mars, have become nothing, reduced to dust, and rust.

myLot User Profile

Jokes!! :)

May ibinulong ang daga sa elepante. Biglang hinimatay ang elepante.

Ano ang ibinulong ng daga?

DAGA: Buntis ako, ikaw ang ama!

SA PAGPAPATULOY….

Dahil di makapaniwala ang elepante, dinala nya ang daga sa doctor.
Tuwang-tuwa ang elepante at masayang ibinulong sa daga ang resulta
ng ultrasound. Biglang hinimatay ang daga.

Ano ang ibinulong ng elepante?

ELEPANTE: Ako nga ang ama, at elepante ang anak natin, at kambal
sila!

—————————-

Isang lalaki na-admit sa St. Luke’s: sunog dalawang hita…

DR: Nurse, i-dextrose mo tapos antibiotic, burn cream at Viagra.

Nurse: Viagra?

DR: para di sumayad yung kumot sa sugat…

—————————-

TEACHER: Anong similarity nina Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio, Ninoy
Aquino at Apolinario Mabini?

STUDENT: Ma’am, pagkaka-alam ko po, silang lahat ay pinanganak ng
holiday!

—————————-

ERAP: Soli ko tong nabili kong DVD.

FPJ: Anong problema?

ERAP: Walang picture, tsaka sound. Sayang. Suspense thriller pa
yata to. Tsk, tsk…

FPJ: Anong title?

ERAP: "The Lens Cleaner"

——————————

BATA: Pabili nga po ng ubas….

TINDERO: Wala kame ubas

…kinabukasan…

BATA: Pabili nga po ng ubas…..

TINDERO: Wala kame ubas

…..kinabukasan ulet…

BATA: Mama, pabili nga po ng ubas….

TINDERO: Sinabi na ngang wala e! Pag nagtanong ka pa, iistepler ko
na yang bibig mo!

……..kinabukasan ulet…

BATA: Mama, may stapler kayo?

TINDERO: wala..

BATA: Pabili nga po ng ubas

———————————

FPJ: Aray! Bakit mo ako sinuntok?

ERAP: Tinawag mo ako hipopotamos!

FPJ: Last year pa yon tarantado..!

ERAP: E kanina lang ako nakakita ng picture ng hipopotamos…!
Tanga!

——————————–

AMO: Inday, ilipat ang comforter sa kwarto.

INDAY: San ko ilagay kuya?

AMO: Ipatong mo lang sa kama

Maya-maya….

INDAY: Andun na po. Sinama ko na rin ang frenter at iskaner…=)

——————————

PROMDI: Lam ko promdi lang ako kaya wag mo kong lolokohin!

Bakit ganito ang kwarto ko?!?!

Maliit, wala pang kama at bintana…. ha?!?!

ROOMBOY: Sir, nasa elevator pa lang po tayo…

——————————

MRS: Bakit ngayon ka lang?

MR: Pasensha na, nagyaya mga officemates ko, nagkainuman lang.
Hehe!

MRS: Lasing ka no?

MR: Hindi!

MRS: Anong hindi?! Wala ka namang trabaho, pano ka nagka-officemates?!!

Research Technologies

by Adrian Borja

Hi guys, this blog post serves only as a guide when you aim to research on a specific future technology that I’ll enumerate later. Im posting this coz at the moment, I dont have the resources and means to accomplish them myself. Any kind of espionage or theft of concept from me shall be considered as it is and shall be dealt with appropriately by my strike squads. I will just state the general idea or concept, and if u want the detailed description, just message me, so here they are:

1.) Invisible Suit/Armor - This technology is for humans but more preferably for vehicles. The concept is digital in nature. This ‘cloak field’ is for the prototype meant only to fool normal vision, I.E., human vision, however, it can be upgraded so it also evades radar. One component of this cloak field, a camera is already being made prototype by Adobe. To know more how this camera is applied for the invisible effect, just PM me. ^^

2.) Portable Electricity - When you were small, if you cut the wire of the electric fan that leads to the outlet, it tells you that the electric fan have just been cut off from electricity, and turns off. Now, that will be the thing of the past, without wires, things go live, not by batteries, not be solar panels, but by portable electricity. As of now, Intel had developed it already, its because they have funds. The idea is not original to them so let's hope that they not exploit the research's capability, it's for the benefit of all, not for greed.

3.) Telepathy/Radiopathy - Now, this research is Open Source, anyone can add their data for others to improve until it reaches completion. Now to start with, as for personal experience, I’ve found out that our brain transmits and receives a wide range of radio frequency that includes that of radio stations, but we do it involuntarily and we kind of do it all the time. Take this as an example, I’m humming a music in my head for a few minutes, then a moment after, I hear it on the radio on almost the same part of the song as I was playing it in my head. So maybe, my mind gets attuned to the music so that the music is suggested to be played, so involuntarily, my mind received the radio frequency. Another instance, I was playing a music in my mind, moments later, someone who was with me whistled the same music, but delayed by about 1 minute of the track of the music. This phenomenon happened a lot already, which I think, was I was actually transmitting radio frequency and she received it unknowingly, suggesting the playing of the same music. So that was the concept, apparently, it only applies to music, but there could be more to it.

4.) Project Eden - Now, this may sound far fetched research. In my own honest opinion, this project will not be accomplished within my lifetime, coz this is a massive undertaking and will probably take about 3 centuries or more. Well to start with, this research is open source. Meaning, anyone can contribute, fund, organize, etc about this topic. As an abstract: We will make a program that could help earth regain its vitality, the ozone layer, the greenhouse effects, etc, and when this project is upgraded, this can be used to make once unhabitable planets to become a habitable one. This theory lies in the concept of nanotechnology. Nanobots as small as air molecules will be developed. These nanobots synthesize good chemical compounds and break down harmful ones, these bots are light enough to become suspended in the air all the time, amassing on a specific altitude depending on their function. These will be mass produced, so our atmosphere will become rejuvenated in no time. Then this bots can be reproduced to be capable on navigating through alien atmosphere on an attempt to ‘domesticate’ their atmosphere over time,. Well, this is just a few of the first steps, more can be added, can be suggested, for the benefit of all.

5.) More to be added soon.. ^^